I believe we all owe it to our children and grandchildren to scrutinize our giving patterns. How do we use our charity to help others? What is our responsibility in giving charity. Can we to seek recipients who abide by values that we advocate?
Again and again, my family, friends and colleagues give donations to individuals and institutions whose practices differ widely from their own. I understand the obvious necessity to give to those in need, but there are so many who need our help that we do have choices. Yes, give to the needy. But why select those whose basic philosophy so differs from one’s own?
Why if you are a Zionist would you give to religious groups that are anti-Zionist? Or if you are supportive of education for women, why give to those communities that restrict women’s education. Or worse, how can one give without even knowing an organization’s policy in key areas?
One friend always asks petitioners, “What do you do to help agunot [women who cannot receive their Jewish divorce]?” Another told me he asks recipients to sing Hatikvah with him first.
Accountability – ours as well as theirs – should be an important element in setting our priorities.
The consequences of our giving patterns are far reaching. If we use our funds to support institutions we agree with, we provide for a flourishing future Jewish life. But if we support those whose lifestyle opposes ours, then what will the future hold for our own descendants? Will they reject us, choose to emulate others or will they not have the institutional support they require for a world like ours? It’s our choice.
My children often remind me that they responsibly limited their family because of the high cost of Jewish day schools (no this is not a joke). Yet, we give money to those who refused to act so responsibly and have numerous children. Is that fair? Why not give our education charity to the schools that support the lifestyle of our children? Let the haredi supplicant be responsible to earn his or her own living and support their own multiple children. Why not? It’s their choice.
Giving is our obligation. To whom we give should also be our obligation.
I know I’m being unfair to the many charitable organizations that legitimately require our assistance. But it’s appropriate that charitable organizations stand up to communal standards and scrutiny. It’s proper that you and I give according to our standards and preferences. It’s our choice.