As the author of The Forward piece on Canadian Reform Jewry, I want to begin by saying I am an individual, a congregant of a Reform synagogue, and I have a Jewish past and future I drew on with risk and honesty and an open heart. I wrote this piece because I love the theology of Reform Judaism but not it’s expression in Canada.
I found in unnerving that three organizational entities wrote a response to my piece in the Canadian Jewish News, not The Forward, and didn’t use their names. How many people are in each of these organizations? Who wrote the response? I feel like Dorothy arriving to the wizard of Oz as a talking mask with flashing lights thunders. I don’t have Toto to pull back the curtain and reveal who is operating the controls. I want to have an open discussion, and openness would require people showing who they are, at minimum.
I sincerely hope the entirety of the members of each of those organizations did not agree to the publication of that response. The response was technical corrections rather than an appreciation of the spirit of my concerns. My concerns are people’s feelings and inclusion, friends, family, community. For example, there are non-Jewish parents who do not get an aliyah at their own child’s bar mitzvah. This is heartbreaking to me (because it isn’t to everyone).
I care about intermarried couples and I don’t want this differentiation from them. I do not believe this differentiation will encourage their children’s devotion to Judaism, and I don’t believe my children will benefit from observing families separated in this moment. Similarly, the letter in response to my op-ed says children of Jewish fathers are welcomed. If they must convert to read Torah, and children of Jewish mothers are accepted as is, what welcome is that? We cannot assert we are welcoming, inclusive, joyful, just, or open. That is for others to assess, based on our behaviour.
Our rabbis talk about the differences among their own congregations, and between approaches in the U.S. and Canada, and we are better for it. I want the rest of us to be welcomed into those conversations. I want to hold hands with people who feel shamed and excluded and build the movement from the people. I am looking for that, and for a robust liberal Judaism that stitches together all the different Jewish traditions we come from, forging this new inclusivity, together. If we can learn from the Reform movement in the States in this effort, let’s do.
