Israeli representatives led a workshop at the first World Conference of Women’s Shelters, held last month in Edmonton.
Hadara Matar, left, and Ruth Ozery
Ruth Ozery, director of the Na’amat Canada Shelter for the Prevention of Violence in the Family in Tel Aviv, and Hadara Matar, an attorney and legal adviser in Na’amat’s department for the prevention of violence in the family in Israel, spoke to shelter workers from 51 countries around the world.
Matar, among other positions, is a member of the Israeli parliamentary committee on violence against women, a member of the Tel Aviv municipal council for the prevention of violence and a lecturer to social workers in the field of violence against women.
Speaking at a Na’amat breakfast meeting, she said they asked to present a workshop at the conference, organized by the Alberta Council of Women’s Shelters, “because we wanted to put Israel on the map on this subject.”
Their shelter, with capacity for 30 women and children, is open to any woman in Israel, although many are immigrants from Russia, Ethiopia or the Far East.
“We know that the same problem is everywhere. Immigrants don’t have the language and they don’t have money, and these stresses increase violence. It’s a global problem,” Matar said.
Ozery, a member of the Israeli Shelter Directors Forum and the Tel Aviv Municipal Council for the Prevention of Violence, said their shelter is unique because Matar, a lawyer, has an office there.
“We find it important for women to see a lawyer right from the start – she was the only lawyer at the conference – because they can receive help not only with their divorce, but with problems regarding rent, employment or other issues,” Ozery said.
“When [representatives] from other countries heard about this, they were amazed, but for us, it is obvious. If some of her problems get sorted out from the start, she is free to work with the social worker about other things.”
Each woman has a family lawyer from legal aid, Ozery said, “but she has a lot of other problems that she needs to deal with. Violence is only one of the problems. We try to help her with everything, and our services are available even after she leaves the shelter.”
Matar said the shelter worked with a Palestinian woman who came to them with a nine-month-old child, and received services for 12 years.
“The Palestinians wanted to kill her because she left her home, and she came with no papers. She stayed with us for four years – she lived close to the shelter after that – because we had no place to send her. We could not find a solution in Israel, so we worked on moving her out of Israel.”
Matar said they worked with the Red Cross and various embassies to find a solution, and then the woman married an American Christian man. “He wanted to take her to the United States, so we went to the court in Ramallah to make arrangements for the child to leave the country. When the woman left, she gave money to the shelter.
“This is a unique story, but it shows that we try to help, even if it looks like there is no solution,” Matar said.
Ozery said they approach the situation holistically. “It’s not a stopgap measure. We treat the whole woman, and everything that has contributed to the situation.”
When women come to them, she said, “we make sure they don’t feel ashamed, and we teach the children why they are there.
“It is a community problem, and the community needs to take care of them, so we have volunteers that work with them. We cannot touch their painful places right away, such as their self-esteem or their suffering, but we can soften things and allow them to experience things they never thought they could experience.”
Little things add up, she said. “A woman may put on makeup for the first time because her husband never allowed it. She never dreamed of doing this, and then [maybe she can do something else and something else.] Finally, enough doors open that she can deal with things that touch her heart.”
Every woman is at different risk, Matar said, and they assess every situation and do not allow the woman out if they think she may be in danger. “We measure the risk every time.”
They also deal with men who come for help, she said. “We have male social workers who help abusive men. They teach them to use language instead of violence to express themselves.
“Abuse does not have to be physical, and sometimes it is hard to recognize. It can be very subtle. Some men can be very charming and impressive. It is hard to notice that something is wrong.”
