Elinor Gertner, who died last month from renal cell cancer at age 59, will be remembered for her devotion to her family, her profession and the community.
A social worker who worked at Jewish Family & Child for about 35 years, Gertner developed and co-ordinated the agency’s Changing Family program in the early 1990s, for families undergoing separation and divorce.
Speaking on the shloshim of Gertner’s death, Monica Auerbach, director of JF&CS, York Region, called her a leader in her field. “She developed the program based on the needs of the community and made it relevant to people undergoing either amicable or high-conflict divorces.
“She helped [program participants] navigate the whole process, and she helped children become resilient in order to come through the divorce with a healthy ability to cope.”
Auerbach said that Gertner came to work while she was ill, and even while in hospital she would call into the office with instructions. “She was totally devoted.”
Eric Gertner, Elinor’s husband for almost 35 years, said in his eulogy that she was a “brilliant diamond” with many facets.
He received an e-mail after his wife’s death, he said, “that summed up her special qualities. Our friend, Pat Richardson, wrote that she will ‘remember Elinor for many things, the friendship and good advice she so willingly gave, her generosity and good spirits, her kindness and willingness to listen, her concern for others less fortunate, her practicality and lack of pretence, and the courage and dignity with which she faced her illness.’”
Gertner called his wife the “consummate professional. Many of her colleagues looked to her for guidance. [She had an] ability to get to the point, to innovate and to improve what are already terrific programs.
“She was never one to rest on her laurels. She was always thinking about how she could improve herself and the services that she and JF&CS provided.”
He said she was committed to her work to the end. “She could have had a successful private practice, but she always said she chose to stay at JF&CS because she believed in the agency’s model of providing services to those who could not [otherwise] afford them.”
Gertner said she took part in a number of charitable activities, and worked with her children at the Daily Bread Food Bank and volunteered to help clean up Sherwood Park. “Recently, she started a letter-writing campaign to convince the government of Ontario to make Torisel, a kidney cancer drug, available to those who cannot pay, even though our own insurance covered the drug.
“She also gave blood about 85 times. When her cancer was detected, she was upset for many reasons, not the least of which was that she could no longer donate.”
Gertner said however, that his wife’s greatest achievements, “are sitting here in the front row – Lara and Marc. She was always there if they turned to her for help, and sometimes she was there even if they didn’t ask for her opinion, but she knew they needed it.
“She said on many occasions that a parent was successful when his or her job became redundant, because his or her children had become independent,” he said.
“Lara and Marc’s devotion to their mother over the last year is a direct measure of the respect and love that Elinor earned from them.”
Lara said that her mother always wanted to help the people around her be their best. “She brought her clients to the best position to parent their children, she reminded her friends to respond to compliments with a simple ‘Thank you,’ and she helped [her own mother] become as independent as possible.”
Barbara Kates, Elinor’s twin sister, said that growing up “we always had each other. As we became adults and referred to something that had happened to one of us in childhood, there were many times when we really didn’t know which one of us it happened to.”
During Elinor’s illness, she said, “someone commented that I seemed to have a kind of primal understanding of what [my sister] needed. What a gift [that is] for both of us. I was a twin, I am a twin and I will always be a twin. And as I said goodbye to Elinor, I had a chance to tell her that.”
In addition to her husband, children and twin sister, Gertner leaves her mother Beulah and sister Laraine Naft, brothers-in-law David Kates, Neil Naft and Henry Gertner, and sisters-in-law Cheryle Gertner and Marlene Brickman.
