Every year at this time we reflect on where we’ve been good, where we’ve fallen short, and hopefully as we are taking stock, we remind ourselves of the people we want to be, and the people we want to become.
I know I say it a lot, but wishing others well, even silently, is probably one of the greatest gifts and one of the most elevated, beautiful and important things we can do. Instead of the resentful or unhappy feelings of wanting somebody else’s success, good fortune, qualities or possessions, how wonderful to be able to look at what you do have and feel abundant, grateful and satisfied.
Satisfaction. I remember how my late grandmother Lillian Siblin was always satisfied with very little–a fridge full of food and a house full of plants and flowers. No matter what, she was self-content.
How deeply satisfied are we with the way we think, act, and behave with others? What would we like to work on? What are three things we would like to improve upon in this coming year?
How can we be more humble, more generous, optimistic, kind, gentle and loving to our significant other, our children, our families and friends?
What does it take to wipe the slate clean and start over?
Abundance. How do we know when we have it even when we don’t realize it? Sometimes our cups are so overflowing, and we only notice what is not there and don’t notice all that is. How can we be better people in the coming year? What does it take?
Rabbi Baruch Frydman-Kohl, senior rabbi at Beth Tzedec Synagogue says, “This sacred season emphasizes the universal dimension of our lives – birth and death, sin and forgiveness, growth and harvest. A central message in all these days is to pay attention, to be aware – of ourselves, those around us, and God. Awareness is a stepping stone to appreciation. We have been given many challenges and blessings. Our task is to find a way through the challenges of life to reach a point where we can appreciate our blessings.”
What a lovely thought. So this year when we are taking stock, a wonderful way to get started making this the best year of your life is to imagine your future positive self. There is a wonderful story in the book This Year I Will, by M. J. Ryan, where she describes a man who dreamt of becoming a bull rider and the goal in the ring is to stay on the bull for eight seconds. The man worried incessantly about what if he got thrown or trampled, and naturally that is exactly what kept happening. Finally instead of thinking of everything that could go wrong, he imagined everything that could go right. He pictured what he would do with all of his winnings, imagined all of the fans, and he became the United States bull riding champion!
So focus on all of the positive outcomes in your life and maybe three new positive personality traits you would love to adopt in the coming year. As Ryan puts it,
“To create a new positive frame, write yourself a letter from your future. Imagine it’s a year from now and that future self has accomplished what you want. The you of the future has lost the weight, become happier, found a new partner, learned to take life more easily. The future you is writing to the you of today about what it’s like and how well you’re doing. What does it feel like? What surprises have come your way as a result of the change? The future you is a year older and wiser. He or she has learned a lot about how to get from here to there. What message does he or she have to help the you of today to get to that marvelous place?”
Wishing you all a happy and healthy New Year full of much joy, good health, blessings of every kind and lots of bliss!