Looking and feeling fabulous at every age is a topic you often see on the cover of fashion, beauty and lifestyles magazines for both men and women.

Indeed, the cover of this month’s Harper’s Bazaar has a photo of actor Demi Moore with the caption “Fabulous at Every Age.” But more than looking fabulous, we all want to feel that way inside, too, and have that combination of good health, vitality and the ability to age happily and gracefully.

As I’m always on the lookout for the latest news, information and education about life coaching, I happily attended the “I Can Do It” conference at the Metro Toronto Convention Centre last month. Among the speakers were Wayne Dyer, Sonia Choquette and, most notably, New York Times bestselling author and spiritual activist Marianne Williamson, who talked about her latest book, The Age of Miracles: Embracing the New Midlife.

Williamson, who has a daily show on Oprah and Friends on XM Satellite Radio, was hugely inspiring as she talked about the fact that “midlife is not a crisis – it’s a time of rebirth. It’s not a time to accept your death, it’s a time to accept your life and to finally, truly live it as you and you alone know deep in your heart it was meant to be lived.”

She tells a fantastic story about a friend of hers who was entertaining some people in her living room. When her twentysomething daughter came home at 10 p.m. and saw them there, sitting on the couch, she admonished them with the words: “You guys are so boring! You never go out!” To which all three responded in unison, “We were out, and now we’re in!”

A close friend of mine, Sari Sonshine, always says, “Every year is a gift. It is wonderful to be another year older, because if you think about it, what’s the alternative?”

Williamson makes a good point when she talks about how what we lose in slowing down physically, we make up for in other ways.

She says: “The mind is its own kind of dance floor. If in fact the highest, most creative work is the work of consciousness, then in slowing down we’re not doing less, we’re doing more. Having slowed down physically, we’re in a better space to rev up psychically. We are becoming contemplative. We are shifting from the outer to the inner, not in order to begin our demise, but to reseed and re-green the consciousness of the planet.”

In many cultures, we are given clues on how to anticipate midlife with joy and grace. In Thai culture, to maintain their well-being during the midlife transition, most women adjust simply by accepting midlife change and thinking of it in a positive way as a natural progression and an extended gift of life.

I love the expression, “Dreams have no expiry date,” because that is exactly what midlife gives you a chance to do – to dream. There was a woman at the conference who was married to a man 16 years her senior, and she mentioned that he at 60 years old wanted to move to the country to write songs and music and really begin this new phase of his life. She, alternatively, at the height of her career and with two small children, wanted to stay in the city.

Williamson told her, “You are going to be surprised by my answer about what to do, but my suggestion is that you have to move to the country. Because you have to give your mate a chance to express himself fully and be giving as a partner in order to make that happen.” She suggested that feminism has not always been a good thing for women and that in a partnership between a man and his wife, there are masculine and feminine roles.

Williamson made midlife seem fun and adventurous and exhilarating, and really, isn’t it all in the way you frame it?

My favourite memory is of a feminist professor at the University of Ottawa talking about the first women’s studies courses at Canadian universities in the 1970s. Once  she had asked her students to bring in a picture of the most beautiful woman they knew. Everyone in her class brought in a picture of actor Farrah Fawcett, who was then at the height of her career in the TV show Charlie’s Angels.

The professor brought in a very different picture. Her photo was of an eightysomething woman diving into a pool of water. She had a healthy complexion and was the very picture of physical, spiritual and emotional well-being. This is what we all pray for and want to strive for. That picture serves as an excellent reminder that aging is a gift, something we all should be grateful for and not afraid of.

Judy Siblin-Librach is an Adler-trained coach. Website: www.findingyourbliss.com, e-mail: [email protected].