Can guys and girls just be friends? Yes. Can guys and girls who once dated just be friends? Sure, but why would you want to be?

I know that the philosophy behind every great, working relationship is that the couple are friends as well as each other’s loves, and so to some, it only makes sense to keep that friendship going once the love has passed.

But like most things that seem logical on paper, reality always seems to paint a different picture.

Before I go on, I should say that if there are kids involved, by all means, it’s more important than ever to stay friends – and good friends at that. But if there are no strings attaching the couple to each other, I say it’s best to cut loose and run.

I’ve tried being friends with exes, I really have, and well, today I’m not good friends with any of them. Not to say I don’t feel friendly towards them. On the contrary, I wish them the best. But I’m always well aware of the boundaries that exes should impose on each other – boundaries that make any real sort of friendship a real challenge.

Does my ex want to hear about the new hot boy in my life? Of course not, but he’ll pretend to be happy for me until our next conversation, when he makes sure to get me back 10 times over by nonchalantly slipping in the name of his hot new conquest and some hot new details.

When you’re in a bad relationship, you get used to the tit-for-tat. But tit-for-tat often becomes a not-so-friendly competition of upmanship when you’re attempting a friendly relationship with an ex.

Chances are if you’re my ex, it’s because I hated the drama to begin with and I’m in no rush to revisit or remember any of it.

I don’t care how mature you and your ex are. I’ve seen this play out to different extremes with the most respectful of couples. The only difference between them and the couples who love drama are that they each pretended not to notice and care about each other’s digs.

But everyone notices and everyone does care.

Now don’t get me wrong. A guy friend is the best kind of friend a girl could have. They’re objective, they know how to decode guy-speak, and they’re the first to tell you when you’re acting like a girl.

Thankfully, I have a number of good guy friends who have helped guide me along the most trying of relationships.

But the reason these friendships work is because they are based on nothing more than a platonic affection for each other. That means when we go to the mall and I catch him checking out a hot blonde, I’ll point out the even hotter blonde to his right.

It also means we’ll always be honest with each other, take special pains not to hurt each other and leave the games to our ridiculous crushes. Sounds like a relationship? It is. It’s a special kind of relationship called a “friendship.” This type of friendship plus love is undoubtedly the best kind of relationship there is.

When a guy and a girl like each other, both have too much at stake to be true friends. When emotions are involved, people naturally put up some guards to make sure that they are not being taken advantage of.

And when true emotions are involved, it’s too hard to switch things off and pretend it never really mattered.