Celebrating the birth of a daughter

The celebration of a boy’s birth is clearly prescribed in the Torah, with the brit milah, the sacred covenant of the flesh: “On the eighth day you shall circumcise…”

On this day, a baby boy endures this ritual, and at the same time, he receives his name. This is a most joyous and festive time. and in fact, the Talmud correctly prophesied that this would be one event that would be observed by all Jews for all time.

On the other hand, for the birth of a baby girl, there is neither a biblical nor a rabbinic prescription, only custom.

A custom’s development is as much a result of economic and environmental concerns as of its reason for being, in this case the birth of a baby girl. And so, the harsh realities of poverty and whether food was or was not available had as much to do with the development of customs related to the birth of a baby girl as the birth itself. While a brit milah is not required, a girl needs to be given a name as much as a boy does. It’s the question of celebration that remains open.

In the Ashkenazi tradition, it is the norm to give one’s daughter her name at the very first Torah reading after her birth – that is, on a Shabbat, Monday or Thursday. Here, the father is called to the Torah, after which a name is given to the baby. Many have a custom to host some sort of kiddush thereafter.

Sephardi custom is altogether different. First, there is no rush toward that first Torah reading. In fact, there is no connection with Torah reading at all. In the Sephardi tradition, parents of a baby girl have a whole month within which to host their event, as they are not bound to any specific day.

The celebration of a girl’s birth often surpasses that of a boy: there is much more time for preparation, there is much more flexibility as to its date, and evening events are wholly acceptable (a brit milah may be undertaken only during daylight hours).

During a festive meal, the baby girl, dressed in frilly and lacy white, is placed on a similarly lacy, white pillow. She is “brought out” by her grandmothers, who proudly parade her about. Folkloric songs have been written specifically for this occasion. Of particular fame are those composed by Rabbi David Elkayim.

The baby is passed from the arms of the grandmothers to the arms of all the female members of the family, cousins, aunts and others, making her way at last to the arms of her mother.

The rabbi then chants the words: “May He Who blessed our mothers Sara, Rachel, Rebecca and Leah; Miriam and Abigail the prophetesses, and Queen Esther; may He bless this delightful child and let her name be called [name inserted here] b’mazal tov and b’siman tov. May He raise her in good health and peace and prosperity for her father and mother to experience her joys and her chupah and her own childbirth in prosperity and honour.”