TORONTO —The nature of foster families is changing to meet the complex needs of children coming into care, says Sheryl Ederman, supervisor of children in care at Jewish Famil & Child.
TORONTO – The nature of foster families is changing to meet the complex needs of children coming into care, says Sheryl Ederman, supervisor of children in care at Jewish Famil & Child.
With a new emphasis on placing children who have straightforward needs with their extended families and immediate community whenever possible, she said, JF&CS is faced with the challenge of finding appropriate placementsfor children whose needs are more complex.
“This is where the notion of ‘professional foster care’ comes in. We are looking for people who are able to provide good, solid parenting, who understand the complexities ofcaring for foster children and who see it as a job,” Ederman said.
“Foster families need to open their hearts, but they also need more than that. They need to accept a certain amount of change and challenge in their household.
”It’s not necessarily a full-time job, “but it is a job. There is a daily paid rate, and most expenses are paid.”
Ederman said that kids do best in family-based care – there are currently 34 foster families in the Jewish community– and the agency’s goal is to find homes in every areaso that it can meet clients’ social and cultural needs.
“We also support family access whenever it makes sense,” she said.
“If we don’t have enough homes, we have to place kids out of our system.”
She said JF&CS needs homes for children of all ages, and foster parents can be any age and any family configuration. “We just placed a baby with a senior woman. We would love to support grandparenting.”
Norm and Jody Roth have been married 25 years and have no children of their own. They’ve been fostering teenagers since 1996.
Jody, who can’t remember exactly how many teens she and her husband have taken in over the years, said their door is open for time periods ranging from short-term to a little longer.“We’re thrilled to have the kids keep up with us when they leave, but the onus is on them. We cry when they move out, but we’re proud that they’re moving on. It’s almost like a graduation.”
She said that they’ve learned to be friendly, “but not friends. We’re there to provide guidance and support. Ihave training in early childhood education, but a lot of the training applies to the teens. They want attention and love,and they want to be guided.”
The sun shines through in every case, she said. “If the kids have been a challenge, they know that we hung in there.”
Norm stressed that “practically every kid has been great, and we can rely on the resources at JF&CS if we need support. When we get a child, we often have no information. We don’t know who is in the house until we are faced with it.
“We went through [an initial] training period, we take part in ongoing training, and there is a lot of informal socializing between foster families.”
Jody said they’ve built a basement apartment so they can provide some support for older teens, aged 18 or 19, who are getting ready to live independently.
“They need a family to help them through their transitional stage. They need a little ‘TLC’ and some mentoring.”
Ederman wants to spread the word that “there are kids in our community who need care. To some people there is a stigma attached it, but there are problems out there, and [no one should be ashamed].
“There are a lot of invisible problems, and there are a lot of families who need help. We can’t keep it a secret.”
