STE. AGATHE DES MONTS — It was a storybook setting for a wedding: the edge of Lac des Sables in Ste. Agathe des Monts, as the sun set behind the hills on a warm late summer evening.
Getting married lakeside had been the dream of the bride ever since she left her Paris home to study in this Laurentian town nine years ago at age 17.
But this is more than a love story. The bride, Hana Sellem, and groom, Moshe Barouk, are Lubavitchers and the Sept. 2 wedding was a traditional chassidic simchah. Not only was it outdoors, but the couple invited the public at large to attend the ceremony.
Some 300 people, about evenly divided between Jews and non-Jews, turned out, including municipal officials and the local police chief of this town of about 10,000.
The venue was Lagny Park in the heart of town. A pre-reception gathering was held in the small pavilion on site, offered to the couple free of charge by the town. The building is ordinarily not rented out for private affairs, but Sellem and the town agreed to list the wedding as a cultural event open to all.
The open-air wedding, which was planned months ago, took on greater significance coming just a couple of weeks after the headline-making punching in the face of a Jewish man, Mendy Haouzi of Montreal, 23, as he walked to the House of Israel synagogue on Shabbat.
The incident has raised concerns that anti-Semitism is a resurgent problem in the area, which has a large, mainly part-time, Jewish population with a history going back more than a century.
For Sellem, sharing her big day with everyone was her way of showing appreciation for a townsfolk among whom, she has made many friends, both Jewish and non-Jewish. She first came to Ste. Agathe when the Bais Moshe Chaim Teachers’ Seminary was opened there by Chanie Carlebach, rebbetzin of the House of Israel.
After graduating, Sellem became a vice-principal of the school, which now has 35 students from various countries.
“When the [assault] happened, I felt sad,” she said, “but I love it here and have wonderful neighbours, and feel very comfortable. I wanted to show that there are a lot of positive things here, that everyone can learn from each other, and that we have more in common than differences.”
For Chanie and Rabbi Emanuel Carlebach, they hoped the occasion would go some way in conveying the community’s wish to live in harmony with their neighbours, which it has, in fact, done, despite a spate of worrisome incidents recently.
“Out of something ugly, something beautiful has come,” said the rabbi, who has been spiritual leader for 23 years, succeeding his late father. It’s the first time to his knowledge that a chupah had ever been set up in a public place in Ste. Agathe.
“We wanted to share with the entire community the wondrous ways of HaShem.”
His wife echoed those thoughts. “We are all one people under one God. We are saying we are all here for each other.”
D’Arcy McGee Liberal MNA Lawrence Bergman, who has a home in Ste. Agathe, said the event is in the spirit of the recommendation of the recent Bouchard-Taylor Commission that the province’s majority and minorities should interact more to understand each other’s culture better.
Frema Shatner, who lives year-round in Morin Heights, said she wouldn’t have missed the wedding for anything. “I’ve never had a problem, but you read about attacks, and you wonder if anti-Semitism is starting again. It’s positive to see so many French Canadians come out.”
Nicole Meloche, representing the town, thanked the families for their “very generous gesture. We are honoured to have you here.”
The female students, in their modest attire, have become a familiar sight in the town, and Sellem, with her outgoing personality and French mother tongue, was especially well known, sometimes speaking in schools about Judaism.
The wedding was also a farewell: Barouk is from Florida, and that’s where the couple will live.
Those gathered – who came as they were, in contrast to the black suits and formal gowns of the closer guests – watched in awe as Moshe was brought to the chupah by a procession of men carrying lanterns, as music played. After the blowing of the shofar, Hana, whose face was completely concealed, followed with a group of women guiding her, to spontaneous applause.
Rabbi Carlebach co-officiated with Rabbi Mordechai Lichy, Moshe’s rabbi in Coral Springs, Fla., who struck a recognizable note when he observed, “Men are from Mars, and women from Venus.”
A half-dozen other rabbis were also under the chupah, including the bride’s father from France.
The proceedings were trilingual, with the rabbis explaining the proceedings in English and French, such as why the bride circles the groom seven times, the reading of the ketubah, the Sheva Brachot and the breaking of the glass.
French-language booklets explaining the rites in detail and containing a thank you from the couple and the bride’s parents were also distributed.
“I’ve been in Ste. Agathe for 60 years, and never in my wildest imagination did I ever think I would see a night like this,” Hy Rissman said.
The non-Jews present, mainly francophones, were “polite, inquisitive and so understanding,” he added.
Hélène and André Gauthier, a middle-aged couple, agreed they had learned a lot by attending. Neither had been to a Jewish wedding before and were curious.
“We appreciate the invitation. Everybody was glad to see that and was touched. We feel closer to these people. They may live differently, but we know they want to live in peace, together with us,” André said.
Lise Lingat, owner of the Mont Alta ski hill where Sellem snowboarded, was also at her first Jewish wedding. She liked the emphasis on tradition, but was a little perplexed by the fact the bride had her face covered the whole time.
Her husband Oswald, who has been to other Jewish weddings, summed up his reaction: “A little history, a little nostalgia, no drunks, no brawling. It was all good.”
Pierrette Joannette, who watched, intently fascinated by rituals so different from a Christian wedding, found it “very emotional, very impressive and unforgettable.”
Michael Shafter, the father of four, said Hana and Moshe have “instilled in our children the meaning of respect, tolerance and intercultural harmony. The mitzvah they have provided the Ste. Agathe area should be an inspiration to the peoples of Canada and the world.”