‘Becoming Big’ is the story of how Maya Sinclair overcame disabilities to celebrate her bat mitzvah in Montreal

If anyone had told Maya Sinclair’s mother five years ago that her then seven-year-old daughter would eagerly be looking forward to her bat mitzvah, meticulously preparing her speech and the celebration afterward, she would not have believed it.

“I would have thought they were from another planet,” says Jana Popliger. She was no less astonished when Maya insisted on having this rite of passage.

At six months, Maya was diagnosed with the rare genetic disorder Axenfeld-Rieger syndrome, which stunts her growth, affects her eyes, and causes joint and muscle problems.

It was Maya’s selective mutism, an anxiety marked by avoiding interaction with others, which made it especially difficult for Popliger to imagine Maya on the bimah delivering her Torah learning and dancing with a crowd afterward.

“Until she was 8, she didn’t even want a birthday party; she didn’t want friends,” said her mom. Being teased by other kids for her short stature only made her more withdrawn.

In November, Maya did ascend the bimah of her synagogue, Montreal’s Congregation Beth Tikvah, and confidently spoke about Abraham, Isaac, Jacob and Moses, biblical heroes with whom she identifies because they contended with physical challenges that they overcame.

Maya’s journey to her bat mitzvah has been captured by Beth Tikvah’s Rabbi Mark Fishman in four short videos entitled Becoming Big, produced with support from Federation CJA and showcased during Jewish Disability, Awareness, Acceptance and Inclusion Month (JDAIM). They are available at bethtikvah.ca and YouTube.

Maya was one of the most enthusiastic and perceptive students Rabbi Fishman ever had, “the greatest pleasure, magical really,” he says. Due to the pandemic, their weekly lessons were held entirely over Zoom.

“I never wanted it to end,” said Maya. “I kept asking my mom, can’t we keep going?”

For the first-year Pierrefonds Community High School student, the patriarchs’ struggles were relatable: Isaac was visually impaired, Jacob had a limp, and Moses a speech impediment. In old age, Abraham had to come to terms with a body that failed him.

“Maya exceeded all my expectations; there were not too many dry eyes in that room,” said Popliger. Beth Tikvah, a modern Orthodox congregation of close to 600 families, bills itself as “the synagogue with no walls.”

With Maya’s success as an example, Rabbi Fishman is making a plea. “Every synagogue must ask how we as an institution can open our doors and become welcoming to every single person in our community.”

That is especially imperative for children, he believes. “It is essential that every single Jewish child have the celebration of their bar or bat mitzvah, and it makes no difference if they are an able-bodied child or one with disabilities. There has to be every open door that a synagogue can offer to a child with mental or physical disabilities.”

Maya blossomed soon after the first of what would be several surgeries for glaucoma when she was 7. She wrote and illustrated a book, Operation Eye, to alleviate the fears of any child facing an operation.

In 2020 she wrote Shining Star, inspired by another turning point in her life. Maya wanted to follow her older sister Erin, a talented competitor in the annual SHINE dance competition.

But Maya did not have the ability to train intensely, so her mother persuaded the organizers to create a category for kids with physical or developmental challenges. Maya was the first entrant in 2017.

Both books are available on Amazon and all proceeds go to the Dr. Clown Foundation or Chai Lifeline’s Camp Simcha, from which Maya has benefited.

Maya says performing helped with her bat mitzvah. “I was very scared at the beginning, but just like with dancing, once I started my fears went away.”

As she said in her speech, “God made me kind, smart and funny, yet he also gave me a unique set of challenges…I get frustrated that I can’t do all the things kids my age do, but I have learned to adapt and use my size to advantage, to be brave and creative and use my voice.”

Her ambition is to become a doctor and help children like her.

Rabbi Fishman notes that Judaism teaches that strength and leadership is about surmounting limitations and giving to others.

Although raising Maya has meant daily challenges, from numerous therapeutic interventions to school integration to finding clothes that fit, Popliger said her daughter is a joy and “embodies everything good in the world.”

To other parents of kids with disabilities, she says, “Find a way for your child to fit into the world; nothing is impossible.”

To Maya, she advises, “stay true to yourself” and to everyone else, “be a little kinder, less judgmental” towards those who are different. Maya responds, “I’m not that different, I want to be treated like everyone else.”

Launched 13 years ago, JDAIM is observed across North America. In Montreal the acronym rhymes with je t’aime (I love you).

“Open your heart,” says Rabbi Fishman. “It’s really that simple.”